6 Tips for Dealing With Social Anxiety at School
School represents a significant source of stress for many teenagers, but social anxiety (sometimes known as social phobia) can make the idea of school downright daunting.
Social anxiety symptoms exist on a wide spectrum. Someone with milder symptoms might feel self-conscious around certain people or feel anxious when giving presentations. But someone with more severe symptoms may find that their fears affect their academic performance, prevent them from making friends, or stop them from going to class altogether. At Boreal Therapy Collective, we have therapists with years of experience supporting children and teens who have struggled with social anxiety at school.
To better manage social anxiety at school, we’ve developed six tips that we know will help!
Signs of Social Anxiety Disorder in School Settings
Social anxiety disorder symptoms often first start in childhood, and research shows that the average age of onset is in the early to mid-teens. Sometimes people assume someone with social anxiety disorder is just shy, and other times loved ones just assume the person is being too hard on themselves.
Social anxiety is a mental health condition that can cause significant distress. It isn't a choice, but it is possible to manage certain symptoms.
Common symptoms of social anxiety include:
feeling nervous about humiliating or embarrassing yourself in front of others
having an intense fear about talking to classmates or teacher
worries that other students can tell how uncomfortable you feel
physical symptoms (blushing, trembling, increased heart rate, shaky voice)
dreading specific social interactions that most trigger anxiety
wanting to avoid school as much as possible
Social anxiety doesn't just show up at school. People with this condition tend to experience symptoms in most social settings. However, teenagers and young adults spend the majority of their days at school, so this is where they tend to most notice their discomfort.
Tips for Coping With Social Anxiety at School
Anxiety disorders are treatable. Most treatment focuses on identifying stressors and also integrating new coping skills to manage stress. Here are some skills you can try before and during various social interactions.
Brush Up on Basic Social Skills
Sometimes people feel socially anxious because they don't know how to respond or connect with others. This persistent fear can lead you to want to avoid social situations, which only worsens the problem.
While some people are naturally conversational, many others have to practice certain skills over and over again. You're not alone if you feel nervous at school.
Some helpful social skills include:
remembering to make eye contact when others are speaking
practicing active listening (focus on what the person is really saying or feeling)
asking thoughtful questions, as people often like to talk about themselves
remembering that most people also feel somewhat nervous in a given social situation
discussing mutual interests as you notice them
Practice Mindfulness
Stress makes us involuntarily clench our bodies and hold tension. Learning how to breathe before difficult moments can help you feel calmer, and it can significantly reduce anxiety.
Deep breathing: Practice breathing in through your nose (and count for five) and then exhaling out of your mouth (count for five). Repeat several times.
Stay with your present moment: Instead of judging your negative thoughts or physical sensations, simply notice them. Pay attention to how they settle within your body. Don't try to resist what is there.
Consider your gratitude: Thinking about what you feel most appreciative of can sometimes soften intense anxiety and help you focus on the bigger perspective.
Counteract Your Negative Thoughts
People with social anxiety generally have negative thoughts about themselves. For example, you might tell yourself, “I'm so bad at public speaking! Everyone thinks I look dumb standing up there.”
It's so easy to assume this thought is factual, but all thoughts can be challenged and changed. To do so, it's helpful to ask yourself, How do I know people are really thinking this way about me? If a good friend were struggling with this kind of anxiety, what would I tell them? What's an alternative way to look at this situation?
Boost Your Self-Esteem
Having social fears often coincides with poor emotional well-being. This makes sense. If you feel insecure about yourself, it's hard to feel confident around others.
Building your self-esteem isn't an overnight process. It requires challenging negative self-talk, practicing more self-compassion, and engaging in ongoing self-care.
Imagine Positive Outcomes
Visualization can be an important part of managing social anxiety.
For example, try to imagine yourself walking through your first day of school. Maybe the scene of it normally triggers a sense of dread. But imagine how it might feel if you moved through your day confidently and comfortably. Think about what you might do differently.
This doesn't mean that your visualization will guarantee a certain kind of reality. But when people think positively about themselves, they tend to feel more comfortable taking creative risks, and they may experience less self-doubt even when things don't go perfectly.
Keep Challenging Yourself
Getting "over" social anxiety requires working "through" social anxiety. This means you have to continue safely exposing yourself to uncomfortable social situations and sit with your uncomfortable feelings.
You will feel anxious at first, but the more you can tolerate this distress, the less overwhelming it will feel.
Remember that small steps count. For example, if you struggle with class participation, make it a goal to raise your hand just one time this week (even if the teacher doesn't call on you). Achieving smaller goals can help you feel empowered to work through bigger ones.
Therapy for Social Anxiety at School
Living with social anxiety disorder can be difficult, but working with the right mental health professional can make a tremendous difference in how you feel. It is possible to feel better about your everyday social situations. It's also possible to learn better ways to cope with your anxiety symptoms when they arise.
At Boreal Therapy Collective, we specialize in helping children, teens, and adults manage social anxiety and related challenges like depression, self-harm, and self-esteem. Whether it be cognitive behavioural therapy, dialectical behavioural therapy, or play-based therapy, we are confident in our ability to support the people of Fort McMurray and Wood Buffalo through in-person or virtual therapy.
If you’re ready to start therapy with us, you can book your initial assessment here.
