Boundaries
Boundaries refer to the limits we set within ourselves and with other people. When you set boundaries, you convey how you expect others to treat you, which helps you protect your own needs and energy.
Setting healthy boundaries is a sign of self-respect, and it's also the foundation for healthy relationships. Always remember that you're entitled to having needs. That said, it's important that you know how to convey those needs appropriately.
To begin therapy to improve boundaries, book with:
Amy Parsons
Dayirai Kapfunde (virtual only)
Kenneth Guye (virtual only)
Kim Cardinal
Samantha LeBlanc
Sarah Callin
Types of Boundaries in Relationships
There are different types of boundaries, and it's important to consider each of these categories when thinking about the relationships you have with other people.
Physical boundaries: Physical boundaries refer to the rules you have about your body and touch. For example, what are your limits about hugs or high-fives? When you're spending time with others, how much personal space do you need to have?
Emotional boundaries: Emotional boundaries refer to boundaries you have about your feelings and inner world. What does privacy mean to you? What emotions do you choose to disclose to family members or friends? If you need support, who do you turn to?
Financial boundaries: Financial boundaries refer to limits around money. If you earn your own income, how do you choose to spend it? If your friend is short on funds, when do you offer to help? When do you refuse to help?
Sexual boundaries: Sexual boundaries refer to your limits around sexual behaviour. If you're in a romantic relationship or have sexual partners, it's crucial to review concepts like consent, safe sex, and open communication.
Material boundaries: Material boundaries refer to how you use and share your personal belongings. For example, are you willing to loan your friend your laptop for the weekend? When do you offer to share lunch? What items do you refuse to part with?
What Are Healthy vs Unhealthy Boundaries?
Healthy boundaries are ultimately clear boundaries. Generally speaking, you feel close to others without being smothered.
Some relationships have overly rigid boundaries. It's like there's a massive wall between you and the other person. When that's the case, there's no space for flexibility or creativity.
Other relationships have more blurred boundaries. When this happens, enmeshment can occur. Enmeshment refers to overly close boundaries. It's hard to separate your emotions and needs from the other person. You may feel like your privacy is consistently being violated.
What Makes Setting Boundaries Difficult?
Most people know that healthy boundaries are essential for their self-esteem and emotional wellbeing. But that doesn't mean it's easy to set these limits. Here are some obstacles that might be getting in the way of your relationship boundaries.
Frequent modelling of unhealthy boundaries: Did you watch people set healthy boundaries when you were growing up? Do you know what a healthy relationship looks like? If you experienced trauma or challenging family dynamics, boundaries may feel challenging.
People-pleasing behaviour: Maybe you feel guilty telling other people no. Or you worry that setting boundaries means you're selfish or arrogant. If that's the case, you might avoid having limits because you don't want to hurt others.
Low self-esteem: People with low self-esteem often struggle to believe they are worth setting boundaries. They often feel uncomfortable recognizing that they have needs and personal limits in the first place!
Rejection: If someone has rejected your boundaries in the past, you might hesitate to set them again. You might assume that people will either laugh at, ignore, or step over your boundaries regardless.
What Does Therapy for Setting Boundaries Actually Look Like?
If you don't look after your own needs and set boundaries with others, you risk experiencing resentment, toxic relationships, and emotional exhaustion. You also risk repeating negative relationship patterns in the future.
Therapy starts by first focusing on self-respect. How do you want to treat yourself? Then, it moves into identifying your needs and values in relationships. How do you want other people to treat you? What kinds of actions are non-negotiable?
Therapy may also examine your family dynamics. How did other people's boundaries (or lack thereof) affect your own sense of limits? Do you know what boundaries in positive relationships actually look like? Did you grow up in a home where people could respect others' boundaries - or were poor boundaries the norm?
Creating boundaries doesn't usually happen overnight but learning to do this work is one of the best gifts you can give yourself.
Therapy for Boundary Setting in Fort McMurray
How to Start Therapy for Boundary Setting
Beginning therapy with Boreal Therapy Collective is easy and requires no referral. You can book your initial assessment here.
Understanding Length of Therapy and Treatment
Your first appointment will be 90-minutes long. For all future appointments, you can choose to book for 1 hour or 90-minutes. During your first appointment, your therapist will ask you questions to better understand you and your areas of struggle. This is known as an assessment. Depending on how much you share, the assessment phase can last anywhere from one to three appointments. The assessment is critical. It helps you and your therapist understand your goals, and it helps your therapist develop a treatment plan to support you in achieving these goals.
After the assessment is complete, treatment begins! In the treatment phase, you will be introduced to a variety of skills to practice and implement to set effective boundaries. Most people will have a therapy session every two weeks, and we recommend this for optimal treatment. Effective therapy typically takes somewhere between six to twelve appointments (for some more, others less). Many choose to continue therapy once formal treatment is complete. This is referred to as maintenance. People who do this typically have an appointment once every six to eight weeks. This is not a requirement and is a matter of personal choice.
Therapy for Boundary Setting at Boreal Therapy Collective
Where We Are Located
We’re located at 8530 Manning Avenue, Unit 104. You’ll find us in the Service Canada building (on the side of the building that faces the Clearwater River). To check out our space, click here.
Parking is located at the front and back of the building. The front parking lot is closer to us but tends to fill up quickly. There is also an empty dirt lot adjacent to our office that many use for parking. If you park at the back (where Service Canada is located), you can walk around the building to reach our office. To learn more about parking, click here.
Importantly, you do not need to be in town for treatment. We offer in-person and virtual therapy and our therapists are happy to provide whatever option works best for you!
Rates & Benefit Coverage
Initial assessments are billed at a rate of $300.00 for a 90-minute appointment. Follow-up sessions are billed at a rate of $200.00/hour or $300.00/90-minutes (you can choose your preferred appointment length when booking). We offer direct billing to 25+ benefit providers. With your consent, we will always direct bill first. If we are unable to direct bill, you can pay via email money transfer or credit card. You will be given a receipt once payment has been collected. For more information, click here.
