Divorce and Separation
Divorce isn’t easy for anyone in the family. If you and your spouse have decided to end your marriage (or you are already in the divorce process), you may be concerned about how this decision affects your child's well-being.
To begin therapy to navigate a separation or divorce, book with:
Amy Parsons
Dayirai Kapfunde (virtual only)
Kenneth Guye (virtual only)
Kim Cardinal
Samantha LeBlanc
Sarah Callin
How Divorce and Separation Impact Children
Children and teenagers don't always show their emotions in the same ways adults do. But you should still pay close attention to their moods and behaviours in the weeks and months after a divorce. Some of the main warning signs include:
regressive behaviour (acting younger than their actual age - this is more common in younger children)
separation anxiety
changes in sleep or eating habits
withdrawal from family members or friends
intense anger and rage toward the family
signs of self-harm or substance abuse
increased emotional sensitivity
feelings of guilt or blaming themselves
more physical health problems
cynicism toward marriage, relationships, and a secure family dynamic
other anxiety or depression symptoms
If you're a parent concerned about your child's emotional state, keep in mind that every child copes with this transition differently. If you have multiple children, you may see very different reactions from all of them. The goal of transitioning from divorce isn't to try to fix how a child feels or naively promise a better future. Instead, the goal is to provide a supportive emotional space where your children can come to you with their fears and needs.
How Can Parents Help Their Children Cope With Divorce?
Parents and children alike face personal challenges when a marriage ends. It can be difficult to manage their feelings while also coping with your own intense reactions right now. Here are some ways to remain supportive:
Encourage your child to talk openly with you: It's important to answer their questions and be a source of emotional support during this time. Understand that children may blame themselves or assume they did something wrong. Continue reassuring them that the relationship ending wasn't their fault.
Communicate directly and together: If at all possible, try to talk about the separation or divorce together with your spouse. Plan for this conversation in advance. Aim to be amicable and honest without sharing unnecessary details.
Aim to keep routines intact: Try to prioritize structure and consistency as much as you can. This sense of predictability doesn't fix the feelings, but it can help children feel a sense of control and empowerment as the rest of their lives change.
Avoid speaking negatively about the other parent: Don't badmouth your ex-spouse or demean their parenting. If you have an issue with something they've done, don't use your children as messengers. Likewise, try to avoid arguing in front of the kids as much as possible. Doing so only adds to their tension and discomfort.
Don't abandon your rules or expectations: Some parents feel so guilty about getting divorced that they try to compensate for it by taking a more lax parenting approach. This may provide immediate relief in the short term, but it only complicates your family dynamic. Your children need you to uphold your boundaries and model a sense of consistency.
Therapy for Divorced Families
Therapy for divorcing parents or divorced families can take many forms, and it depends on where you are in the separation phase.
For example, if you're on the fence about separation, you and your partner may want to consider couple’s therapy. This type of therapy can help you strengthen your communication, establish new relationship goals, and decide whether you want to stay together.
If your partner is unwilling to seek professional support, consider getting your own therapy. You might need to review the pros and cons of staying in your marriage - and if you're thinking about leaving, you may need emotional support in determining which logistics you need to iron out.
Some therapists also recommend family therapy, particularly if the child is 'acting out' or exhibiting intense emotional distress. A child's mental health is often indicative of difficulties within the family dynamic, and a therapist can help you all come together to build a healthier support system with one another.
Finally, teenagers often need their own private space to process their emotions and explore their grief about their changing family unit. If they feel stuck, depressed, or anxious, therapy offers a compassionate environment to focus and identify new coping skills.
We are here for you and your family during this difficult time. No matter how your life is changing, the right support can make the transition easier.
Therapy for Divorce and Separation in Fort McMurray
How to Start Therapy for Divorce or Separation
Beginning therapy with Boreal Therapy Collective is easy and requires no referral. You can book your initial assessment here.
Understanding Length of Therapy and Treatment
Your first appointment will be 90-minutes long. For all future appointments, you can choose to book for 1 hour or 90-minutes. During your first appointment, your therapist will ask you questions to better understand you and your areas of struggle. This is known as an assessment. Depending on how much you share, the assessment phase can last anywhere from one to three appointments. The assessment is critical. It helps you and your therapist understand your goals, and it helps your therapist develop a treatment plan to support you in achieving these goals.
After the assessment is complete, treatment begins! In the treatment phase, you will be introduced to a variety of skills to practice and implement to improve coping. Most people will have a therapy session every two weeks, and we recommend this for optimal treatment. Effective therapy typically takes somewhere between six to twelve appointments (for some more, others less). Many choose to continue therapy once formal treatment is complete. This is referred to as maintenance. People who do this typically have an appointment once every six to eight weeks. This is not a requirement and is a matter of personal choice.
Therapy for Divorce and Separation at Boreal Therapy Collective
Where We Are Located
We’re located at 8530 Manning Avenue, Unit 104. You’ll find us in the Service Canada building (on the side of the building that faces the Clearwater River). To check out our space, click here.
Parking is located at the front and back of the building. The front parking lot is closer to us but tends to fill up quickly. There is also an empty dirt lot adjacent to our office that many use for parking. If you park at the back (where Service Canada is located), you can walk around the building to reach our office. To learn more about parking, click here.
Importantly, you do not need to be in town for treatment. We offer in-person and virtual therapy and our therapists are happy to provide whatever option works best for you!
Rates & Benefit Coverage
Initial assessments are billed at a rate of $300.00 for a 90-minute appointment. Follow-up sessions are billed at a rate of $200.00/hour or $300.00/90-minutes (you can choose your preferred appointment length when booking). We offer direct billing to 25+ benefit providers. With your consent, we will always direct bill first. If we are unable to direct bill, you can pay via email money transfer or credit card. You will be given a receipt once payment has been collected. For more information, click here.
